looking back

i usually look back at my past memories through my phone and computer, be it in form of photos, videos or other type of different ways i can save it, its always filled with so much memories

so…why did i chose this photo? this photo actually reminded those times, whereas i was trying so hard to move on from my ex,i kept on looking back at those memories , feeling very low each time i saw them. i didnt ask for patch up because i know he can find someone better than me

but today i manage to have the courage to look back again, and I’m glad to say, I’m no longer sad anymore when i looked at them, it was filled with happiness rather than hatred and sadness. All i could say is thanks for creating those happy memories with me

this are the few things i noticed when i looked back at every memories captured in m devices

I noticed how fast time passed

looking back, how skinny i was last time HAAHA ah yes .. i gained weight🙊

many major difference i had in terms of physical appearance. gained weight, skin tone was way whiter last time, looked more better. but well, i don’t hate how i look now, so it doesn’t really bother me

when i looked back how time has really passed , i really mean it. when i looked at those photos, i couldn’t remember when i took it!! then i realised..oh gosh IT WAS LAST YEAR PHOTO…….

PHOTOS LIKE THIS?! IT WAS ONE YR AGO ALREADY OMG

MY LOOKS were so much better last time *cries*

I noticed my old friends that used to be my best friends are strangers to me now

time passes, human being changes and eventually they became someone that they use to say they wouldn’t turn into.

they used to stay loyal, promised to be confidential about your secrets, promised that they will be the ones gonna stick with you through out your life

but life doesn’t work in that way , people will change and sooner or later, their minds couldn’t clique with you anymore , they became busier and couldn’t make time for you anymore.

because of time gap, we were not close anymore, we couldn’t find topic to talk about , we became awkward and couldn’t be ourselves anymore, the gap became bigger and bigger

And this is how they left your life, and became strangers.

exact cycle as what i described

i noticed each photos captured at that time, were filled with different types of feelings

i went to hong kong and taiwan LAST YEAR, i still remember those times, i was trying to forget my first ex, using those trips to cover up those sad memories that i had with him.

all those photo i taken there, was trying to brag that “oh i have moved on” but actually i hasn’t. It was all just myth, all my mind was filled with “him”, posting photos of how happy i am to him, but actually i wasn’t happy at all

after that i looked back at those photos i taken with my second ex, all i could remember is

i love him so muchhhh💖

those days whereas i was so crazily in love with him, thinking about him all day long , very honeymoon period of time indeed AHAHA

its all quite dumb of me to be honest ,why? which brings you to the next point

i noticed how dumb i was

i noticed how dumb i was that time, didn’t enjoy my trip because all i could think is about him. LIKE I PAID SO MUCH FOR THE TRIP AND I DIDN’T ENJOYED AT ALL.

i notice how dumb i was when i didn’t gave up on my first ex, kept on trying to ask for a patch and stuff, kept on trying so hard to be friends with him((but eventually we became best friends after my LONG TIME perseverance AHAH))

i notice how dumb i was because i didn’t allow myself to take a break at that time. i didn’t wanted to let go of everything because i still see hope in everything whereas i know it already has no hope

i was just becoming …….

i noticed how much i have grown 

i have grown a lot more mature in terms of thinking , in terms of looks

i notice i became a much more understanding person, i will spare a thought for others,rather than being self centred

i became a very matured person, no longer a person who just play all day long and just “got one day just live one day” person.

i started to think for myself, thinking is this what i want in the future?

am i gonna live life so meaningless?

am i gonna live life without any achievement?

so i started working real hard for the past 1 year, to go to the best NA class in my school, and i managed to go in ((YAYSS)) even gotten some edusave award and went home like this

but eventually i slacked off when i entered the class AHHA . and got real bad result. oh well, time can’t rewind anymore, all i can do is work hard next year and go PFP

time is getting late now((418am already omgggg my dark circles))

will end off my blog here, see you guys again tomorrow 💓

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